Ranetta!
by ocramed
Summary: What happens when Bayonetta and Ranma Saotome fuse as one person via the Jusenkyo curse? Naughty language alert for this idea of mine...


**Ranetta! – By Ocramed**

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**Disclaimer: Ranma ½ and Bayonetta belong to the respective properties.**

**Note: This is a one-shot, semi-fusion alt-story. C&C are welcomed.**

**Special Note: This is a Ranma 1/2/Bayonetta story only.**

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Once upon a time, there was a boy and his father. The father was a martial artist who sought to train his only son in his Art, so that he could one day leave a lasting legacy behind. Well, the father wanted his son to be good enough in martial arts so that he could have his own meal ticket, but that's neither here nor there…

Nevertheless, the father, a man named Genma Saotome, took his son Ranma on a ten-year training journey, with the promise to his devoted wife Nedoka that he make sure that his son would come back a "man amongst men". Unfortunately, along the way on that quest, life took a detoured into the bizarre…and fabulous.

Tokyo, Japan: Nerima Ward.

It was not every day that a fleeing panda was seen by ordinary residents.

"Growff!" the panda said, as it slowed down. It then hid around the corner of a nearby shop, and waited to see if his pursuer was right behind it-

"Hi," said a seductive voice, as a leggy, elegant and decidedly sexy red-haired woman whispered into the panda's ear from behind. She was dressed in a red, form-fitting outfit that left nothing to the imagination.

"Ulph!" the panda said with a jump.

"Considering that patricide is illegal here in Japan, give me one reason why I should not cause you bodily harm, old man," said the woman, as she adjusts her glasses.

Quickly, the panda hands the woman a post-card.

"Hmmmm," the woman said, as she reads the post-card. "So, instead of going home to see mother, you wish for us to visit your dear old friend. How quaint…"

Pause.

"Then again, with all this subterfuge you just love to engage in, I suppose a visit can't hurt," the woman said. "Very well; we shall see this friend of yours, but remember: I'm still in the mood to upgrade my fashion, and I think panda fur is in season this time of year…"

"So, you're into martial arts?" Akane said, as she stood in front of the woman before her. It boggled the mind that her father could mistake this person for a boy who is supposed to be a fiancé. She, her older sisters and her father were expecting to receive two martial artists—a man and his teenage son—who had supposedly journeyed all over the world for the sake of martial arts training. Instead, a live panda and a supermodel with an unusual fashion sense, as well as having a weird sense of humor, showed up on their doorstep. After getting over the initial shock, Akane, having learned that the woman was into martial arts herself, decided to see how good of a martial artist the supermodel was. She was confident that she, being the best fighter in Nerima, was better than some woman struts about like a pampered princess…

"I'm into a lot of things, my dear," the woman said, as she stretched her limbs. "And that includes 'martial arts'."

Akane could only gulp her reply. The woman practically oozed sex appeal, as she twisted and bent over her torso, indicating that she was very, very limber as well….

"Er, yes," Akane said. "Well, I'll go easy on you."

"How disappointing. I was hoping that you can be…rough with me."

"Could…could you not do that?" Akane said with a furious blush. "Anyway, here I come-!"

The woman watches as Akane came after her…

TRIP!

"Oof!"

"I am waiting for you to come, my dear," the woman said, as she adjusts her glasses. "Quite frankly, I was hoping for a more stimulating encounter."

"Fine. Then…prepare for a REAL fight! Ha-!"

"Ta," the woman said, as she leaps over Akane, whips off her belt at the same time, and then-

SNAP-CRACK!

"Ow!" Akane yelped, as she grabbed her rear, and fell flat on her back.

BAMF!

"Oof!"

"And thus concludes are little match," the woman said, as she ties her belt back onto her waist.

"You…you cheated!" Akane said.

"My dear, we practice the Metsubetsu Kakuto-ryu, yes?" the woman said with a stern look. "Not every opponent will play fair or honorably, and not necessarily without a few tricks to turn either."

"Well, um, but…darn," Akane said. "I guess you're right…"

"It's not about me being right; it's about being correct," the woman said, as she turned to leave the dojo. "Now, if you excuse me, I deserve a nice soak."

"…"

A short time later, the woman, after entering the bathroom for her bath, she turns to face the mirror.

"Now, remember our deal, my little friend," the woman said. "We have to share this body for the time being, so, behave yourself…"

The woman then turns to the furo, breathes a sigh of relief, and then steps into the hot water…

"Ah," said teenage boy, as he relaxes. "Ah, man. Every time I change into HER, my mind gets weird. Worse, I remember the things she does…"

Pause.

"Or do I become her? Or am I just going crazy?" the boy said with a sigh. He then makes the decision to reveal the truth to the Tendo clan…

"Well, it's now or never," the boy said, as he rises from the furo.

Unfortunately, it was at that time that Akane had decided to step in, thinking that she would be sharing a bath with the supermodel.

"Um, I hope you don't mind me sharing a bath with you," Akane began to say, just as she spies the boy.

"Um," the boy said with a blush.

Akane could only stare at the boy in apt silence.

"…"

"Uhhh, hi?" the boy said.

Akane took a step back, and closes the door to the furo behind her.

"Oh, boy…"

Having gotten over her initial shock, Akane turned to see her sister, who had been doing the laundry for her family's new guests.

"Um, Kasumi?" Akane said.

"Akane?" said the oldest sister, as she gives Akane a quizzical look. "Are you not having your bath?"

"It's…it's just that I saw a boy in the bathroom," Akane said.

"Oh, my," Kasumi said. She was thinking that the woman had brought someone with her for some naughty fun. The eldest Tendo sister will have to let her guest know not to do so in the future…

"That's odd," said the middle Tendo sister, as she chewed on a poki stick. "First, there's the old dude that's with Dad, and now there's a boy upstairs…"

Pause.

"Maybe we should start charging rent around here?"

"Nabiki, it's improper for a host to have guests pay for our hospitality," Kasumi said.

"Well, since Dad isn't teaching these days, we have to bring in more money, you know," Nabiki said.

"Guys, we still have that boy to deal with," Akane said. "I mean, what if Ranma was, well, doing THAT with, um, that boy…"

"Oh, dear," Kasumi said. "I'll have to clean the bathroom especially well, then…"

Just then, the boy that Akane encountered in the furo walks down the stairs to face the Tendo sisters.

"Um, hi," the boy said.

"It's him!" Akane said. "That woman's boyfriend!"

"This house is a respectable home," Kasumi said admonishly. "We do not do improper activities here…unless you are married."

"And not without charging room and board," Nabiki said quietly.

"Geez," the boy said. "She…doesn't have a boyfriend or anything. Well, at least I hope not…"

Pause.

"I'm Ranma Saotome," the boy said, as he rubbed the back of his head. "Boy, this is awkward…"

A short time later…

"…And that's all I have to say about that," Genma said, as he sipped his tea. "We have been inflicted the Jusenkyo curse that has rendered us less than men, especially my son."

"And whose fault is that, huh?" Ranma retorted, as he folded his arms. "If you did have the need to take me on this stupid trip in the first place, we wouldn't have been cursed in the first place."

"Let me see," Genma said thoughtfully. "How should I say this…?"

Suddenly, Genma lifts Ranma and tosses him into the koi pond in the backyard of the Tendo compound.

"Ha!" Genma yelled. "You sound like a woman!"

"No!" Ranma said, as he fell into the pond.

SPLASH!

Ranma re-emerges in his cursed form.

"Really, Father?" Ranma-onna said with annoyance.

"I am only teaching you that sacrifices have to be made," Genma said.

"'Sacrifice', eh?" Ranma-onna said, as she twirled around, and snapped her fingers.

SNAP!

Suddenly, her hair elongated, as disappears into a hole that suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

"Where…what?" Akane began to say.

Suddenly, a second hole appears. Emerging from that hole was a clawed hand made from woven red-hair.

"Ah!" the Tendo family yelled in fright, as they all jumped into the corner of the dining room.

"Ah!" Genma yelled, as he us grabbed by the giant hand.

"Now, listen to me, Old Man," Ranma-onna said, as she saunters to her father. "I've listened to you for the last ten years, so that I can be this 'man amongst men'. As a result of being the faithful son and student, I've become…this…"

Pause.

"Although, I do have to say that I love what I see," Ranma-onna said, as she feels her body. "But I also like being my old self, too…"

"What are you getting at?" Genma asked.

"Here's the deal, 'Pops'," Ranma-onna said, as she stuck a finger in Genma's face. "You are going to play it straight with me from this point on. There will be no more tricks or schemes that I will have to face because of your greed and incompetence. Otherwise, I will do whatever it takes to make my curse permanent…"

Pause.

"And I'm sure you know what that means, right?"

Genma suddenly turns ghastly, thinking about what would happen to him if his wife found out about what happened to his son…

"Deal?" Ranma-onna said.

"Deal," Genma said in defeat. "Now, can you let me go?"

"Whatever," Ranma-onna said, as she snapped her fingers again, causing the giant hand to toss Genma into koi pond.

SPLASH!

"Growlf," Genma-panda said, as he rose from the koi pond...

"Now, let's talk about the future over a spot of tea," Ranma-onna said, as she turned to face the still frightened Tendo clan, while the hand disappears. "Well? A guest shouldn't serve her own cup, you know."

"Of…of course," Kasumi said, as she re-oriented herself as host.

"That was…weird," Nabiki said.

"Believe me, there are weirder things in this world, my dear," Ranma-onna said.

"What're are you?" Akane said, as she stood in front of her sisters and father. "Are you some kind of witch? Demoness?"

"You make it seem like it's a bad thing to be those things, darling," Ranma-onna said. "There are men who do like 'bad girls' you know…"

"Could you stop saying things like that?"

"Darling, do not be afraid of what you are," Ranma-onna said. "Men have needs, needs that can be both appreciated and exploited…"

Ranma-onna then leans over towards Soun in a sexy pose.

"Am I right, Mr. Tendo?" Ranma-onna said with a wink and a smile.

"Er," Soun said, as his heart began to pound. "No, I have to stay faithful to my beloved wife…"

"Would you STOP trying to seduce my father?" Akane yelled.

"Darling, I am only trying to make sure that the agreement to unite our family is to be fulfilled," Ranma-onna said. "And if you and your sisters are opposed to the idea, I'm sure that your father will do."

"I won't let a pervert marry my father"

"You make it sound like a bad thing, darling."

"You're unbelievable, you know that…?"

"Boy, enough of that," Genma said, as he poured hot water over his "son", after using it to return himself back to normal. "You're supposed to be engage to one of Soun's daughters, not to Soun!"

"WHAT?" the Tendo sisters yelled in unison.

"Well, I don't want to marry anyone, Old Man," Ranma yelled. "And if it hadn't been for…HER, I wouldn't know about the engagement, or the other stupid crap you've involved me in."

"Dad, what's this…engagement all about?" Akane said.

"Yes, I would like to know that myself," Nabiki said.

"Father?" Kasumi asked.

Soun sighs. This was going to be a LONG evening…

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**So, where can this story go? While Ranma will be Ranma, Ranma's personality in his girl form will be influenced by the ghost of Bayonetta. How she ended up as a Jusenkyo would be revealed over time. Expect Ranma-onna to embrace her gender to hilt, although it will be up to Ranma's friends and family to rein that part of him when necessary. And how would Ranma/Ranma-onna interact with the others? For the most part, Ranma will remain the same, I think. Not so with Ranma-onna. Although I see Ranma-onna becoming more antagonistic with Akane than in canon in some ways, I can see Akane becoming more empowered by Ranma-onna, inspite of her antics. Nabiki and Ranma-onna could easily have a working relationship, similar to the one that Bayonetta has with Enzo (in a more positive way), while Kasumi could embark on a mission of making Ranma-onna more "respectable". Meanwhile Soun would try to avoid Ranma-onna entirely, just to avoid being seduced by her. As for the other cast in the "Ranma ½" series, it will depend upon how much of the "Bayonetta" series will be a part of "Ranma ½". For example, should Ryouga Hibiki's curse form be from canon, or should his altered curse form be Bayonetta's rival Jeanne? I can see Gosunkugi be Ranma's supplier of weapons and specialty items, especially if Rodin (owner of the "Gates of Hell Bar) desides to expand his operations in Japan. I can definitely see an epic rivalry between Ranma-onna and Kodachi Kuno…or friendship? Who knows? But can you imagine the battles Ranma and Ranma-onna (aka "Ranetta") would have involving Ranma's canon foes? And how would Ranetta interact with the rest of the anime/manga world, like "Sailor Moon", "Yu Yu Hakusho" and "Bleach" (to name a few series involving the supernatural)? At any rate, I wanted to throw this idea out there for someone to exploit, if I don't get to expanding beyond this "chapter". Food for thought, I guess…**


End file.
